Maturita

Not sure labelling this post "important". Perhaps "objectively" (i.e. in view of other people) yes. Last few days, I was becoming less and less concerned about the overall outcome. Rather, I just wanted to get rid of it.
We had to gather already at 7.30, all of us classmates (and also 6b class, that does the exam this same week). There was the ceremonial beginning. Meldath, me and Ondra decided to stay there till the afternoon (there were another four before us, in the morning - congratulations to all, especially to Aja and Lukas :-) I spent time repeating some last stuff, looking at maturitas of other people, chatting, eating (there was quite a lot of food for us, so I used it and didn't have to have breakfast nor lunch - I was especially grateful for the sweets :-) Also thanks to people from lower classes, for doing the maturita service for us - I mean bringing food, washing the dishes, brewing coffee...
Then there was our group. Meldath has already written about his feelings. I'll write a little bit about my subjects. Every time, there were 15 minutes for preparation and then 15 minutes of talking (and, eventually, counting). Every four people went one after another, so there were 30 minutes for rest after every subject.
Grades are told after all the members of one group ended. (and there is always one group for the morning and one for the afternoon)

• Math - I drew sequences and series. I was not entirely sure about it but I thought I could do it. I got three exercises (more common are two). But then, I found out it was trivial! It was one limit, one length of an infinite spiral and one equation. When talking, I made it in 7 minutes. I had to talk about theory for the remaining 8 minutes :-) Afterward, our teacher told me it had been wonderful (or something like that :-)
  
• Czech - drama of 20th century; one of my most feared topics. Still, I was able to remember enough stuff and to talk and talk and talk...and I even didn't have enough time to say it all. In the end, I had to say a little about the journalistic style. No problem.
• English - another feared topic: art and culture. Fortunately, I also got a text on Industrial revolution, so I talked 13 minutes about it and only after that they forced me to say a few words on art. :-)
• Physics - an easy topic: rigid body mechanics. But, what a shame, I wasn't able to solve the exercise. I even got right the principle (law of conservation of energy), but then I wasn't able to apply it correctly. So I did it somehow in front of the blackboard, with assistance from the teacher. After, talking about mechanics was easy.
  
• overall: 1 from Math, 1 from Czech, 1 from English, 2 from Physics
  

I spent so much time learning for it (a few months a bit and the whole last month quite intensively). And now, it was just a snap like this. It wouldn't be worth it...but now, I'm a master in high school physics and math and during the study I came to know a lot of stuff I hadn't known before. So at least some effect...
Incredibly, I wasn't nervous; I was just...apathetic. It has something to do with me leaving the school. I fear the loneliness. The vacation now, but then at the university, it's said it's not such a place for getting to know people, as the high school was.
I'll have to try harder to stay in touch with people (the high school just made it natural to see a lot of people everyday, now I'll have to actively seek the company of others...). I just mustn't resign. If I was to remain lonely again, I wouldn't survive it. Oh yes, I admit that for me, it's hard to satisfy my necessary levels in both the frequency of contacts and the number of acquainted people, but still.
Thanks to Meldath and Lan for their support during last days :-)
And now, I'm free. A strange feeling, yet my mind somehow welcomes it. No matter that I'll be perhaps going to the job and to internships, it's not binding me at all; not like the school.
others' opinions: Meldath, Janie, Kriza, Bzochi, Lan, Cherry